Forgot to give this a title…there.

It being Christmas, and me making the command decision not to work so darn much for a bit, I’ve entered total (mostly online) shopping mode, and it is getting pretty ugly. I’ve been rationalizing it by telling myself that I should buy lots of presents for people this year, because I can this year, and I probably can’t this year. That part is mostly fine; I like buying presents for people.

But once I start doing that, I start buying other stuff, and once I cave in on one thing, I end up caving in on kind of a lot of things that it turns out I need to wear that first thing. Today, I bought a belt. Specifically, a belt that will be worn over a shirt. I know. But I have these super-soft long-sleeved t-shirts that I got for like ten dollars in San Luis Obispo, and I can’t really wear them because when I wear them over jeans, there is that weird thing where the jeans button is. You know, the thing where the corner above the botton hole sort of doesn’t lie flat, so if you’re wearing something thin, it pokes out a little. I guess this probably doesn’t happen if you are really skinny, your jeans probably don’t do that thing, but mine do, and I need a belt to go over that area. I suspect this is how the whole belth-over-shirt thing started. Damn jeans.

Way back in the late summer, I had tried on this skirt at JCrew, which is not there anymore, but it was wool, herringbone, and ADORABLE. I patiently waited for many months til it went on sale then bought it in both brown and gray. But then, that meant it was time, finally time, to get new knee-high black boots. I always have to get extended-calf boots, like half the Internet does from what I can tell, which is fine. But really, I only need a tiny bit more extension, like half an inch. But extended-calf boots give you at least an extra inch, so then the boots are a little too big. Even when you can order a specific calf size, since those go in full inches. But whatever, it’s fine, they look ok, and they zip up, which is really all I care about. To my credit, I did not then go also buy a pair of knee-high brown boots, and will endeavor to just get my sort of crappy ones repaired.

But then I bought some casual brown boots for tromping around in on weekends. I know.

This of course makes me sounds like a crazy person with 45 pairs of shoes and crap she doesn’t wear. I don’t have a lot of shoes, and I have been wearing all the new things I bought. I do, indeed, need to get rid of lots of old stuff that I hate. But really, I mostly wear jeans (mostly from the Gap) and t-shirts (mostly from Old Navy) and sweaters (mostly from both), so I guess I don’t feel too bad and buying more stuff. A little bad, but not too bad.

And Yet, I Have Normal Blood Pressure

I like food, and I like all kinds of food, running the gamut from
spaghettios and hot pockets to foie gras and . . . other fancy foods.
Thai, Indian, French, American, Mexican, Ethiopian, whatever. But there are some
foods, or "foods," that I like but which I fully recognize other people
find to be disgusting.

SPAM! And . . . Turkey SPAM! Spam is, quite simply, delicious. I really just eat it the one way – sliced up and then fried in a frying pan. So I cannot speak to how it is just out of the Spam-can, or smashed up and cooked some other way. But fried, it makes the most amazing sandwich, and is particularly excellent over rice, which cuts the saltiness nicely. It is salty in a way that is almost, somehow, cloying in the way that overly-sweet frosting is cloying. But with salt. And it gets so crispy, I assume because it is frying in its own Spam-fat. Turkey Spam is quite a bit less terrible for you, and tastes nearly as fattening and salty-delicious. I know it’s gross. I know it  lasts forever, and that can’t be good. I don’t care. I will admit that I only eat it once every 3 years or so, however. Gross Level: 11.

Slim Jims. Only the thin, original-flavored kind though. I will gladly snap into a Slim Jim if one is offered. I don’t buy them regularly, though they do make a delightful addition to a movie night snack-fest, the kind stocked, if at all possible, by taking a trip to the local variety of "mart." It can be deceptively difficult to open the package, and if it is a long Slim Jim, it is then very hard to control the wrapper and keep it from getting Slim Jim oil all over the damn place. Gross Level: 7.

Deviled Ham. Oh, deviled ham. Like Spam, you are something that my dad thought it was ok to eat, and ok for his children to eat (my dad also used to put salt into Campbell’s chicken soup, so, not a great judge of appropriate saltiness levels). Anyway, deviled ham comes in a little tin, like tuna, wrapped in white paper. I don’t know why they wrap the tin, which also has a little key to open it, in paper. That seems really unnecessary. Deviled ham just has the one use really: it should be spread into a sandwich, and there should be nothing else in the sandwich. It’s just minced ham and some spices, but it is truly sinful (GET IT)? I hate myself, a little. Anyway. Gross Level: 2.

Egg Salad. YUM. The love of the egg salad comes from my mom, who loves herself a good sandwich of something she had to actually make. I prefer mine to have either very finely chopped eggs or pretty big pieces, not middle-of-the-road. I go light on the mayo, I throw in a bit of mustard and some paprika. If it’s a more plain variety, I like it on a sourdough bread sandwich with a little salt and pepper, and a lot of iceberg lettuce. Brigham’s makes, or made, a super-perfect egg salad sandwich. I understand why not everyone loves the egg salad, though: it does smell like egg yolks, and does not look particularly appealing. Gross Level: 3.

Pork Rinds. Let me make it clear: I have never, and never plan to, actually purchase pork rinds. But I do confess that I have eaten them when they have been in my presence. I’m actually not terribly proud of this one, so we’ll move on. Gross Level: 9.

Steak-Umms. I loved Steak-Umms when I was a kid, and my mom was willing to buy them, and the babysitters were willing to make them. They were really, really terrible for you, but as I recall, they were not in and of themselves particularly flavorful. Some American cheese cleared that right up though. Gross Level: 1.

I know there are more, so many more, foods that I love that are actually kind of gross. But I think is sufficient to make people kind of ill.

Shiny!

I really like electronic gadgetry. I don’t own as much of it as you would think a person who can list all the differences between LCDs and plasmas would.  I find that my regular 27-inch TV is ok, and I hate the thought of spending a lot of money on something that continues to decrease in price. I also want a new iPod, since I am carting around a (lovely) original green mini. I love it, but it only holds 1000 songs. But they keep making NEW ones. And I want Mac laptop, they come in black now.

I did recently buy the world’s most unnecessary computer: a custom-built desktop with dual processor that can play all the games I don’t have time to play.

Some things have been on my list forever. I want a receiver so I can hook up all the various boxes into one thing, and I can get speakers. But there doesn’t seem to be a reason to do that until I get a large, flat, HD TV. (Right now, my TV keeps breaking, as if to encourage me. Back OFF, TV, I am waiting for the next price drop.)  I want one of the new video iPods that Steve Jobs unveiled today.

I really want an HD dual tuner TiVo. I had put off buying a regular dual tuner TiVo to hold out for the HD. They announced it this week. It costs $799. The regular dual tuner box starts at $30. So, yeah. I’ll be getting the $30 box. FOR NOW.

Stuff I’ve Eaten

I was planning a 30-day vegetarianism experiment. It will have to wait until I move, because here’s what I’ve eaten this weekend:

Bacon

Bacon again

Hamburger

Chicken

Tuna

Slim Jim (meat content questionable)

Ham

A whole pig’s foot

A flamingo’s heart

The eyes right out of a living cow

A puppy

The Shame

Gosh, am I TIRED.

I’ve developed a really bad habit on the weekends of not sleeping in, even if I’ve been up late. I think because weekend time, free time, is presssscious. And I feel like I shouldn’t be sleeping through it. Result? I am more tired after the weekend than I was before it.

Last night, some of us got together and had a Thanksgiving in February. It went off really well, hitch-less, everything ready to eat at the same time, and delicious. Unfortunately, I decided to eat about twice as much food as could actually fit in my body. Then I went and laid down on C’s living room floor and watched the 8 minutes of Grey’s Anatomy that my TiVo inexplicably refused to record on Sunday. I was in pain, people. But I got through it.

Unfortunately, the very second I was a bit more human, I went for the chocolate pecan pie. That was a near-fatal error. Everything hurt, I could barely stand up. After helping clean a little, I headed home. I was feeling alright for a while, but when I got ready for bed, I developed what felt like malaria. I felt feverish, nauseous, and generally like I just wanted to end it all. I called S, who advised me to lie on my side in the fetal position. That actually worked.

I thought I might have contracted something, but after it passed it became clear that no, I had just eaten WAY too much. How shameful.

The only other time I have felt remotely that ill was once in college. Ro and I and our other roommates went to a "Brew Dinner," a 4 (or 5?) course meal complete with a pint of beer for each course. And these were big courses. And the last course was cheesecake crepes. Yeah. We got back to our dorm and all just went to our rooms, laid on our beds, and moaned. It was bad.

Now that I’ve disgusted you all, I’ll get back to work.

Millions

I watched the movie Millions today. It was freaking adorable. I mean, I had heard good things about it, but really, it was just great.

A new banner should be up soonish.

Over the course of 24 hours, I decided I need to eat the following things really soon: a good steak dinner, really good mac n’cheese (like Silvertone’s or some such place), dinner at Helmand, and about seven things I cook myself (because I haven’t been cooking at all lately).