Lazy Dork

I review the last ten books I read…briefly.

I have notes, too!

I really should know by now (mostly from having done this to myself at work): You NEVER set a deadline for yourself. I said I would write something last week, and I did not. Had I just kept my mouth shut, I wouldn’t have to feel bad for not posting.

Whenever I don’t post for a while, I feel like I have to write a little "what I’ve been up to" post, much as Ro did, before I can just jump back in. So.

1. I really did hate The Lamp. Here is the thing: it was not only ugly, it was a little broken and not even that good at its sole function, lighting things properly. It was a silver floor lamp with three desk-lamp looking things attached to it that could be moved every which way. Invariably, one of those ways was in my FACE. No matter where I was sitting in the room, The Lamp would have one of its stupid lights pointing at my eyes. The lights were harsh too, this was not a lamp which created a warm, homey glow. This was an interrogation room lamp. Apart from my problems with its functionality, The Lamp was falling apart. There were rust stains on the pole (hee). One of the lamps didn’t even work anymore. Two of the three plastic covers on the switches had fallen off. The one remaining plastic cover was on the lamp that no longer worked. Sigh. I just hated it so much. The Lamp and its stupid eye-hurting face-light and rust and brokenness. So thank you, Ro. FINALLY.

2. I am reading all the books that Ro used to own. I bought them off of her, and now I have a rather tall stack to work through. I’m pretty pleased, though I am not pleased that now I have to move them in September (which was why she was selling them).

3. I fell off my bike 2 weeks ago and sliced open my right leg just below the knee, on the back. Except for the 9 shots of lidocaine which HURT SO BAD, the cut didn’t really hurt, but it was really deep and really gross. It turns out that your leg insides look just like that picture in the dermatologist’s office, with the layers and . . . stuff. Three layers of stitches later and I was sent limping home from the ER. The healing has been really slow, and more annoying than painful, but I think in another day or two I can get back on the bike. Which is good, since I am supposed to be able to ride the damn thing for over 100 miles in a little over a month. I went to REI last night and bought whole mess of bike accessories – feeling, perhaps, that if I just make the bike safer (I bought a headlight, tail light, reflectors, a mirror) I will stop hurting myself. Never mind the fact that both times I have hurt myself it was entirely, 100% my own fault, and that nothing REI sells can protect me from my own clumsiness.

4. It is possible to backseat drive on a motorcycle, and no, HF does not like it any more than he does when I make polite suggestions in the car.

5. Dancing in flip flops is actually more difficult than dancing in heels, even if the heels are driving deep into your flesh. Dancing barefoot trumps both.

6. Red-eye flights are never a good idea, no matter how much you don’t want to lose a day to travel. All the eye covers and ear plugs in the world cannot make a plane seat into a bed.

7. LA is still weird, flat, hot, and smoggy, but man, is the food ever good.

There have been no rumors of my death…

But if there had been, they would have been greatly exaggerated.
That’s a lot of subjunctive.

Notes from my long absence:

1. I finally threw out The Lamp. I’ve had The Lamp since college, and
Ta hates it. Ta hates it with a burning rage. Ta hates it to the point
that she started to hate me a little, just for owning it. She
repeatedly insisted that I buy a new lamp, even when I had no money
for food. She offered/threatened to buy me a new lamp (but not food).
She really, really, really hates it. And now it’s gone! Ta, you’re
welcome.

2. When you live in a basement, your towels will not be dry by the
time you take your next shower. My advice? Just don’t think about it.
The vibrations of your shivering will dry you eventually.

3. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is still pretty good, and still
incredibly boring. It’s stultifying. It’s somnobulent. It’s
hypnonoddish. It’s cryosleeptopilent.

4. I can make up words!

5. All my life I’ve been slightly distracted by this question: Do I
need a watch? Every minute of every day, no matter the task, a little
part of my brain is calculating how useful a watch would be at that
moment. I don’t wear a watch, so I wish I could stop wondering about
it.

6. Sometimes I worry that if I did have money I would drown in the sea
of beautiful pocketbooks I would buy.

7. The commuter rail still smells like the VA hospital.

8. If I walk to the train and back, and that’s 40 minutes of walking
each day, will I unpack my exercise bike or yoga stuff?

9. Sublist: Reasons to Have Me in Your Wedding:

a. I will joke about wearing an eye patch.
b. I will get exactly drunk enough at the reception to start telling
people, "I love you, man."
c. I know both versions of the Electric Slide.
d. Your relatives will seem totally normal to me.
e. I won’t actually wear the eye patch.

10. It’s possible to play on the internet for 7 working hours, but I
don’t recommend it. Sigh.

Apologies!

Real posts coming soon, I promise. I’ll be out of town next week, and should have ample time in front of a computer to write something. There have been minor bits of upheaval in the Ro-Ta-verse, including moves, bike accidents, and actually having work to do, but we pay for the damn site, so we promise to be back shortly. With WORDS.